inner feelings...

I don't know what's wrong with me....I feel like I'm running away..But there's nothing to run from, maybe rejection, or the lack of friendship I have...I always feel a little depressed now a days... But I try so hard to hide it. I'm not as strong as I wish I was... Not Strong, so maybe I am running away, but that doesn't mean I'm not coming back!

A.zombie.grl

my fault...

I just realized that the reason the guy I liked in the beginning slipped away was my fault! I used to text him all the time, like twenty-four seven. It was great, he made me laugh and I think I really did like him. But I let him slip way. I was suppose to ask him to a dance, that was the plan, but it never happened.... someone beat me too it. That's how they started dating, after homecoming. So it's all my fault. And I feel great about it. I can finally know that I don't have any little hint of liking him. I feel awesome! So happy!

Favoritism!?

I think the word I hate the most is FAVORITISM!!! I have so many people who use it. Like I feel my parents use it a lot. Like just now, I wanted to go to my cousin's house, but my mom sort of freaked out at my brother(college student on break) because his room was a mess, and she was yelling since he doesn't do anything(which is true)....I guess she was still mad, then she saw my dad doing the dishes(my chore to do) and she starts yelling at me! Saying oh you have a brain you should know when to do it without us telling you to. I just think if they want it done that badly they can tell me, but when my dad does it willingly I get in trouble for it. So now I can't go... but he does! I think it's Favoritism, right there!

There not the only ones who do that though, my Grandmother does.... my aunt she I think just doesn't like girls, because she doesn't have one and wants one(jealousy is an ugly thing) So yeah... My family is so loving and understanding...(sarcasm)

A.zombie.grl

Watching you...

Why do people feel the need to keep an eye on me? I didn't do anything.... This is the second time someone started talking to me, just to keep an eye on me.... That's one of the down sides to having a lot of guy friends... But I don't try to get on there girlfriends "eye" list. I just feel like one of the guys, and they cause less drama. One of the best things about my guy friends, girls always fight. Maybe I'm around them too much, well for me to actually understand if I like one or not.

Oh! Today I was reading my book, Kiss of Life (Generation Dead 2) and I was thinking....Do I have a close guy friend, that I've known forever....And might actually like. Well my first guess or thought was actually a guy that seemed like Adam from the story, except his names Tommy. Ironic isn't it. So I took like a good five to ten minutes thinking about that. Of course I know that he has never had any feelings for me, but do I have some towards him? Good Question. I'm not very sure. I don't really hang out with him that much like I used too. I feel a lot like Phoebe in this situation, well because Adam was in the in crowd. Just like Tommy is in my situation. Sort of interesting.....If you think about it.. Me and Tommy are very similar to Phoebe and Adam in that book.....It's pretty neat...

A.zombie.grl

I hate it!

I hate it, feeling like this. The anger, and frustration just sitting inside me; I'm not as strong as I seem, I can't keep it in like I want to. The worst part about it is I have no one to talk to about it either. Even if I want to no ones ever there to listen......So I always suffer in silence.. When I tell my parents how I feel, there never on my side...So whats the point talking about it, no one understands me! They never try too. I try so so hard, silence is all I can take. Since no one will listen to my side. Not ever will they try either. Its always the other person, never me. I'm always the one whose done wrong. Why can't you at least try to understand, at least a little....

A.zombie.grl